When The Music Stops
by Scooby176
Summary: Malaki and Sara have always hated each other but there is always a thin line between love and hate,thanks for the reviews, please read and review. CHAP 12 IS UP!
1. Forbidden thoughts

Malaki slumped back in his usual seat for English at the back next to the window so he could zone out and watch the ghetto pass him by, he could think of a lot more fun things to do right now then sit here and listen to this shit! He could think of a few honeys he could be doin right now. Getting tired with the lecture Mr Johnson was givin, he stood up and left, and when Mr Johnson called after him he just told the guy he was takin a leak. Yeah well, y'all can try to save me but ain't nutin to save.  
  
He shoved his hands in his red and black baggy pants as he moved down the hallway. He watched through the classroom doors as his fellow peers got on with whatever they were doin like they were in some get-kids-out-of-the- ghetto-gangster movie. He was sick of it, nothing ever changed, he was destined to die in some whacked out drug deal gone bad, while Derek gets anything he ever wanted a job a nice family, a down ass honey who'd do all kinds of shit for him.  
  
Malaki realised what he just thought, yeah so what if his trailer trash was a honey she was milk and Malaki was the nastiest oil she'd ever hook up with. What was he thinking, she'd never hook up with him, he'd treated her like a ho from the start.  
  
Malaki had looked through tonnes of windows until he got to Mrs Turner's and there she was her green combats were hanging off her as she slumped down in her chair, her purple jersey hiked up a little from the chair showin just a little of her stomach, that white flesh. Malaki stared in as she twiddled her hair which today she had just left down unlike her usual accessorizing, he wanted her so bad, she was driving him crazy. Her lips, her hair, how he'd love to hold her down by those wrists, he could just imagine her screaming his name as he...  
  
**imagine if I told you I want you  
  
imagine if it all came true  
  
tell me what you would do with me  
  
would you tell me that you feel the same  
  
imagine if I told you that I need you  
  
would you say baby I need you too  
  
no matter what you do  
  
I know you should be in love with me**  
  
Shit! He had to get a handle on himself, he slammed his fist into the door, knocking out the glass and shocking the hell out of the class inside, everyone looked up except Mrs Turner who had run to the door.  
  
When she opened it up Malaki didn't run, he just stood there, his left hand dripping with blood and his eyes fixed on Mrs Turner cause if he looked anywhere else Sara would know. He could feel those brown eyes on him, as Mrs Turner led him away from the door and up to the principal's office. Once they got there she gave him a band aid, I guess the nurse wasn't in that day.  
  
'What the hell were you thinking?' the principal shouted at him because it was the only way to get him to stop looking at the door, thinking of ways to escape or to stop acting like a baller.  
  
'I weren't, Ma'am,' he said looking around as his parole dude came in.  
  
Sara sat there getting really bored, Mrs Turner never shut up! She slouched back in her chair and played with her hair, too tired this morning to do anything special with it. Suddenly she thought how good she'd got it, even though the past few months had been rough, she and Derek were together, Shineal and her had made friends and Julliard had accepted her, now all she had to do was get through the next few months and leave this school and its inhabitants behind, namely Malaki.  
  
What did she ever do to him, he was always on her back, he was a drug dealer, a low life, he had no respect for Sara and she knew he hated her but why? Just because she was white, what a load of crap, Ziggy's white; Malaki never had a problem with her and that other friend of Malaki's.  
  
Maybe it was because it was his best friend and a white girl, that night at the club when he'd said she was milk and Derek was oil, he was so close to her, she could feel his breath on her neck as he walked up to her, Sara was happy she had a good guy, Derek was wonderful, she didn't go for that Macho crap, she didn't buy into that bad boy thing but she couldn't deny that Malaki was good looking.  
  
By the time she heard the crash of a fist to glass Sara had completely zoned out. Looking up shocked she saw him there, his right hand dripping with blood, his eyes cold and that look of pain, she just wanted to it to go away that he'd accept her, want her.  
  
**you make me wanna leave the one I'm with  
  
start a new relationship with you  
  
this is what you do  
  
think about him and the things that come along with  
  
you make me  
  
you make me wanna leave the one I'm with  
  
start a new relationship with you  
  
this is what you do  
  
think about him and the things that come along with  
  
you make me  
  
you make me** 


	2. Stolen Glance

Malaki swung his head around the room not looking at the much older guy in front of him. 'Look...if you mess up again, it's off to Juvy, and don't think your not gonna pay for the door either,' Mr Jennings was not in the mood for another one of Malaki's emotional outbursts of anger. 'Yes sir,' Malaki shined him on with a fuck you smile. Mr Jennings just got up and left. Again he hadn't gotten through to him, he didn't think anyone could at this point. Malaki sat there waiting for Mr Jennings to be gone. Once he was, he was outta there. Malaki got to his locker and looked up and down the hall before getting out his weed and gun. He shoved them in his black baggy pants, he knew a few fools he could squeeze for today.  
  
Like he really knew anything about me, he don't know nutin'. It's not my fault, its only way I get by, I got needs to meet and it ain't like I can go to college, I ain't no college boy. Derek can do that but it weren't no college boy who saved his ass. Malaki fooled himself; he was on his way out when the bell sounded, all his people were getting the hell outta class. It didn't matter what colour they were, he owned 'em. He just couldn't get her to...he just couldn't get her. It's not like he wanted to sit down and have a nice conversation with her, he wanted to do her. Simple as, no messin. What would a educated fool like him do with a white girl? Anything he wanted, that's what. He zoned out amongst them, the crowds, till he got to his brothers, the guys who got his back. They was fools to, smoked up, about to get choked up. That was his life, it would never be hers, and she was goin off to dance somewhere. He'd give his stash to touch her body and dance with her, at least.  
  
I got five on it,  
  
Grab you four,  
  
Lets get keyed,  
  
I got five on it,  
  
Messin' wit that Indo weed,  
  
I got five on it,  
  
It's got me stuck and not go back,  
  
I got five on it,  
  
Ponta lets go half on a sac.  
  
Sarah grabbed her shit and ran for the door, that bell was a release from that stupid woman, Mrs Turner. She totally freaked out about that glass; I wonder how his hand is. Who cares? I'm still mad at him, and I'm allowed to be, he is a racist asshole. But that did look like it hurt. I wonder why he did it? Probably thought he could get me through the glass. Sara bounded through the hallway, suddenly there he was. His hand was bandaged, his eyes were frozen and he was ignoring whatever Lip was saying. Sara didn't wanna walk past him, not because he might hit her, cause he would know, he'd see right through her. Sara didn't know why she thought about him, she'd put it down to a bad boy phase. She had to move; it was starting to look silly her just standing there staring. Sara took a deep breath and moved on by. Malaki watched her as she got down the hall. Derek was waiting by his locker for her when she turned and looked at Malaki. Derek didn't see it but Malaki did. With a whip of that blonde hair she had turned back, to Derek. What was that? I know she just looked at me.  
  
Lip stopped talking when he saw Malaki had stopped leaning against the locker and started obviously ignoring him. Lip turned around to see where he was looking and when he asked about it, Malaki forced up against the lockers by his throat. 'I don't wanna hear that shit again,' He said dropping him and leaving, he didn't need this, he was gonna chill tonight, steps was waiting. Sara couldn't believe she'd looked at him and he had blatantly saw her do it. After feeling like an idiot she hugged Derek and asked how he was. He wasted no time in telling her he couldn't make it to steps tonight. 'Why?' 'I gotta work, sorry, anyway Sineal look after ya,' Derek smiled as they walked off. Sara was really insulted but she kept her mouth shut, after everything they'd been through together, he thought that she needed babysitting. Fine, I'll go and have a great time, she thought.  
  
What's love?  
  
got to do, got to do with it  
  
What's love?  
  
It's about us, it's about trust,  
  
What's love?  
  
got to do, got to do with it  
  
What's love?  
  
It should be about us, it should be about trust,  
  
What's love?  
  
When I look in your eyes there's no stopping me,  
  
I want the Don Joey Crack on top of me,  
  
Don't want your stacks, just break my back,  
  
Gonna cut you no slack,  
  
Cause I'm on it like that,  
  
Come on and put it on me, on me... 


	3. What u Lukin At?

Sara pulled on her new top, it was a halter neck and it didn't make her look bad at all. She got in the club; she was comfortable there now. She made her way to the bar with Sineal with Snookie spinning Fat Joe and the club was slammin. Malaki was sitting in his sits, surrounded by friends and honeys, the liquor was overflowing the cup, these girls were there for him tonight, but he weren't interested, he'd seen what he wanted and he was drunk enough to do something about it. He was tired of it. Thinking about her when he knew she didn't think about him, he was gonna make her.  
  
Sara sipped on her bacardi and coke as she turned and leaned on the counter, her hair was already tied up and fine, Sineal had headed off to the floor with a friend, he'd be her dancing man till Kenny got there. Sara didn't see him coming. 'Hey,' he said propping himself up, his frosted shades hiding his eyes. 'What do you want?' Sara was fronting. 'A dance,' Malaki leaned in, 'and anything else you have on offer'. 'Whatever, why don't you go bother someone else'. Malaki watcher her turn away, which woke him up, his jam, was on. He grabbed her hand and got her on the dance floor so fast she didn't have time to complain. 'What are you doing?' 'This is my jam, Derek would want us to be tight,' he would lie his ass off to get her to stay with him.  
  
Sara didn't know what to do but the music was there, worst of all it was slow. Malaki had her close to him, his lips weren't far away. He thought about all the times he'd wanted her like this and Sara thought of all the times she'd feared this, he'd see right through her, she prayed he'd be too drunk to remember. Sara trembled against him, Malaki could feel her shaking against his jersey. He just held her tighter and wouldn't stop looking at her big brown eyes as they moved, Sara was trying her hardest not to look at him, he didn't it, he didn't deserve her, they both knew that but they were still dancing and neither would to leave. They couldn't stay there either  
  
He don't understand you like I do,  
  
No he'll never make love to you like I do,  
  
So give it to me,  
  
Cause I can show you 'bout a real love,  
  
And I can promise anything that I do,  
  
Is just to satisfy you.   
  
P.Diddy and R.Kelly 'Satisfy You'  
  
'What are you looking at?' Sara said softly.  
  
'You'. 


	4. The Mistake

He held onto her tightly as the music got to an end. Sineal had noticed who Sara was dancing with and it wasn't gonna go down well with Derek. The music was thumping' and the people were giving everything they had on that dance floor. As the song changed Sara knew she had to get away, so she pulled herself off Malaki, it wasn't hard as he was still sobering up.

_**Boy I know you want me  
  
I can see it in your eyes  
  
But you keep on frontin'  
  
Won't you say what's on your mind  
  
Cause each and every time you need me  
  
You give me signs  
  
But when I ask you what's the deal  
  
You hold it all inside  
  
If you wanna be with me  
  
You gotta keep it real  
  
Tell me what's goin' on  
  
Tell me how you feel  
  
Cause boy I know you want me  
  
Just as much as I want you  
  
So come and get my love  
  
It's all here for you  
  
Destiny's Child 'No,No,No'.**_'Don't do this, you're drunk, just leave me alone,' Sara said walking away.  
  
Malaki didn't get upset he got angry.  
  
Sara headed out of Steps and down the cold streets of the ghetto; there was a homeless guy for every street and a few boy thugs for every corner. The neon lights off the liquor store shone in her eyes, it distracted her as two boys pushed her up against the wall. Sara's heart banged about in fear as the seriously fucked up boys threatened to do whatever they wanted to Sara.  
  
'I don't think so...' they all turned to see Malaki with his heat.  
  
The gun didn't seem to scare these guys, so they turned back to Sara but that was a mistake. The first bullet hit the guy's shoulder; Malaki had missed his head due to his intoxication.  
  
'Did I stutter, Bitch?' This time he got their attention.  
  
Sara was not sure who to be more afraid of, as the bullet wasn't too far from her when it went straight through the uglier one of these guys and hit the wall.  
  
The better-looking one helped up his friend who was squealing on the floor, 'You a freak!' they said running away.  
  
Sara didn't want to move in case she set him off and Malaki watched as they ran away, his face still full of anger. Eventually she pulled herself off the wall and made her way slowly to Malaki. He didn't look at her as she took the gun out of his hand gently; she was about the throw it when he stopped her.  
  
'I need that,' he said without malice, just like a child with his toy as he took it back.  
  
Sara wanted to thank him but she didn't want to give him any ideas, it was obvious what he wanted to do on that dance floor. It filled her with a hope she never thought she'd have, but she would never touch him. He was not a good person, he'd sell drugs and try to kill people but she had Derek, what more could she want.  
  
'Sorry...and thank you...I know you didn't have to do that,' she started crying when she thought of all the things they might have done to her, she needed Derek there, to hold her and tell her everything was gonna be alright.  
  
Malaki looked at her crying and he didn't know what to do, he wasn't use to being nice to her, or any girl. 'Look, it's done, you should get home, I'll give you a ride,' Malaki said awkwardly.  
  
Sara didn't refuse the offer; they sat silently as the car drove past all the people. His car obviously hadn't been repaired since the accident.  
  
I can't believe I got in the car with him, but what choice did I have, I really didn't wanna walk home after that. This car is so cold, but at least it runs, should I thank him again. No, it would just annoy him; my presence is annoying him right now I can tell. I've gotta say something this silence is killing me. I mean in the club he was all over me now he's angry with me, I can't stand it.  
  
She's getting bored with me I can tell. I can't believe she got in the car with me. What a white girl, not even letting me drive, just cause I had a few. She looks really good driving my car. Bitch turned me down, fuck that! I've got loads of women who'd gladly be with me. Nah, I just...why don't she want me.  
  
'So...where do you live?' Sara started.  
  
'Chill, I'm gonna walk home, I'll get my car tomorrow'.  
  
'No way, come on you helped me, just let me drop you off at your house'.  
  
'And let you walk home, nah way, just drive'  
  
'Do you have a home?'  
  
'Of course I do! What do you think this is, poor black boy, no where to sleep, no family, shit...I protect my own, I got my family,' Malaki didn't want her to see him as weak.  
  
'Whatever Malaki! I was just ask if you wanted to sleep on my couch tonight, that was all, don't pretend like you know me,' Sara was angry now.  
  
Malaki humbled himself, 'sure, but I don't want anyone knowing, you got it?'  
  
Even though Sara hadn't technically asked she didn't wanna set him off so she just let it be and drove on to her block.**_I ain't got no money  
  
And I ain't got no friends  
  
Looks like my world is coming to an end  
  
No food on the table, no clothes on my back  
  
No shoes on my feet and  
  
I just bearly got a used Cadillac  
  
Now ain't that ghetto for ya  
  
But somehow it's gotta change yeahh  
  
ghetto for ya  
  
R.Kelly 'Gotham City' Remix_**


	5. Don't Mean that I Don't want 2

I don't own any of the lyrics by F.A.T.E or Destiny's Child and i don't own any of the Save the last Dance stuff either. Thanks for reading and reviews are soooo welcome!

* * *

Malaki was weary on Sara's stoop as she got the keys out and unlocked the door. It was cold and their breath turned to smoke as soon as it left their mouths. He looked all around before stepping in; as they made their way up the stairs he asked if her dad was in.  
  
'Don't worry he won't be home for another hour, he's got a gig and anyway he doesn't mind friends staying over...on the couch of course,' Sara felt so stupid with each word but she was still shaken after that incident and the fact that Malaki still had that gun.  
  
She only realised that she had called him a friend when she passed her extra cushion out to him. She wouldn't look at him; if she did she knew it would only lead to bad things. Sara wanted to get in her room but she thought it best to leave a note about Malaki for her dad. She got out a pen and pad and scribbled down an excuse, she could feel his eyes on her back. Sara swallowed hard and put down her pen slowly, she turned around to find him facing the window and taking off his jersey. She smiled to herself for having such an ego but felt real awkward when he was half naked. She made a quick dash for her room and managed to say goodnight quickly before shutting her sliding doors.  
  
_**Just because, just because, just because  
  
because, because, because, because  
Just because  
  
I don't wanna come home wit ya tonight  
  
Don't mean that I don't want to  
  
And just because  
  
I don't wanna lay down wit ya tonight  
  
It don't mean that I don't want you  
F.A.T.E 'Just because' **_

Malaki flinched when she shut those doors. He hadn't looked at her once since they got in the apartment, he was afraid of what he might do. Derek used to be his best friend and this was his girl.

Fuck that! He weren't there for me, shit I don't need to think bout what he wants. She's in there waiting for me, nah she ain't. She's said it, 'don't do this'. So he didn't, Malaki lay down on that brown worn old couch and stared at the ceiling thinking about the Sara laying next door in her bed.

He's right there, only about a foot away from my door, it can't happen, it's not that I don't find him attractive. Oh my god what am I thinking this is Malaki racist asshole. It wouldn't matter how attractive he is, how masculine...oh my god snap out of it! I'm just a piece of meat to him, nothing else, I'm white meat and he hates that. Screw him...I need a cold shower but that's out of the question.

The two young adults drifted off into deep sleep as the alarms of cop cars and ambulances rushed past in the night and the ghetto's clubs closed and the gangsters put their guns under their pillows. The world was too hazy for them to accept anything.

Sara got out of bed and stood right in front of her sliding doors, the wooden barrier protecting her from doing something stupid. She just wanted a taste, she had everything she wanted but she wanted just that bit more. No I can't Derek would be devastated and I couldn't do that to him. Is it so wrong that I just take what I want, like Malaki, have whatever looks good? No I would be just as bad as he is, the people I'd hurt by doing this. Malaki isn't even that good looking, he's not, he's got a big nose and mouth and really large biceps...oh Jesus. Sara ran her hands over the door and she never knew that Malaki's hands did as hers did as he contemplated opening it. If I open this door, I got this under control, nothing freaky has to happen. Malaki edged the door open slowly to find Sara standing there trembling.

'I was just...wanna talk? Can't sleep,' Malaki surprised Sara.

'Okay, what about?' Sara still stood her ground.

'Shit I dunno...the weather,' Malaki said slumping onto the couch, Sara sat down as far away from him as she could without falling off the couch, Malaki noticed.

As they both sat gazing out of the window a silence fell between them, like a standoff.

'Looks cold,' Sara tried.

'No shit, trail...'Malaki stopped himself from saying it but she knew he was gonna say trailer trash.

'Fuck you,' Sara turned to face him.

'Look I...' Malaki started.

'I know I'm white trash and your ghetto fabulous,' Sara finished.

'What you sayin?'

'We're both poor if you haven't noticed, I little respect wouldn't go unappreciated,' Sara said crossing her arms and starring out the window again.

'You ain't done nutin to earn it,' Malaki hit back.

'I haven't done anything to earn your hate either,' Sara turned back to him.

'Look I'm sorry, but that's all, you ain't getting nutin more from me,' Malaki wouldn't look at her.

'Why couldn't you just try to get along with me, why couldn't you just accept me, you and Derek wouldn't have fallen out and there wouldn't be any problems,' Sara wanted them to be friends but it would be hard.

'Me and Derek woulda 'fallen' out anyway,' Malaki thought he'd play along, it wouldn't hurt.

Ain't got nobody, what she think she can do, turn me around in one night, grow the fuck up.

'You didn't answer my question'.

'I know what you thought, I was that bad black boy, caught up in drugs and shit, I knew you thought you were better than me'.

'Oh so hate me before I hate you, is that it?' Sara was angry now.

'Yeah! It's what I did, so what?' Malaki joined in.

'You didn't even give me a chance!'

'To what hate me!'

They were getting louder and angrier as the early hours of the morning reared their heads.

'I didn't know you, but yes I didn't like you, I hated you when you called me names and shoved me against a wall!'

'I was protecting my own!'

'You were being an asshole!'

'Maybe I wanted to show you!'

'Show me what...what a big strong man you are! You don't fool anyone you know!' Sara was panting she was so angry.

Malaki was shaking and so was Sara, this was getting too personal for either of them. It hit them hard, every word.

'Just...just stop pretending, you can be yourself you know, try me,' Sara said as they stood so close.

Sara held his face and pulled it up gently to see his eyes. Malaki slipped his hands around her waist. Sara was still shaking; she stopped when Malaki started kissing her. His lips moved over hers, it was bittersweet just the way they liked it.

**_If I loved you a little bit longer,_**

**_If my love was a little bit stronger, _**

**_Would you stay, would you stay? _**

**_And if I granted all of your wishes, _**

**_Gave you more than touches and kisses _**

**_Would you stay?  
  
Destiny's Child 'Stay' _**

Malaki shot up; it was a dream, a dream. Tears escaped Sara's brown eyes as she realised that it wasn't real. She hugged her quilt and snuggled back into her pillow taking a quick glance at her door. In some ways they were both relieved but in others...they weren't. Malaki lay back on the couch and slowed down his breathing. His eyes took one final look at those sliding doors before he finally fell back asleep.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...


	6. You Should Really Know

Thanks to those who reviewed, i am so rubbish at punctuation, thanks for pointing that out or i would never have noticed, even when i do read through i miss stuff, i'm gonna get a proof reader to help. This is a shorter chap than usual becuase i'm being annoying. Luv Y'all!

* * *

Malaki hadn't gotten comfortable till about seven o'clock that morning, so by nine no one could wake him up unless an earthquake was about to hit the ghetto. Sara was up and dressed ready for her ballet class that she had in about half an hour. She poured the coffee into the spare mug she'd gotten out for Malaki. It was weird for her to be nice to him but she felt obligated, he'd saved her, which meant he didn't want her dead, which meant...he cared about her.

Her dreamin bout kissing him wasn't helping. Every few minutes she'd lean back and make sure he was still sleeping. Sara stopped stirring the coffee and headed to the bathroom. When she came out he still wasn't awake, she squatted down next to him, looking over his face she wondered if what she'd seen and heard in her dream could be real but that dream was becoming fuzzy and harder to remember, except for his lips on hers and his hands...everywhere.

Before she could stop herself Sara's hand was caressing his cheek and it may not have been an earthquake but it would do. Slowly Malaki came round and watched Sara as she pulled away obviously ashamed, Malaki smiled to himself, which didn't make Sara feel any better. Malaki looked at her and thought if he took her there and then he could piss Derek off like no man's business. Sara picked up her bag and took one last look at Malaki before telling him he could see himself out. Malaki shot up and caught up with her as she stood barely in the hallway. His lips met hers and had hold of her tight, he sank in but she was having none of it.

Sara pushed him off, 'Malaki stop it! Look I'm grateful for what you did for me but when I get back if you're not gone, I'm calling the cops'.

Malaki smiled and leaned back on the doorpost, 'yes ma'am. Nor like they'd get here in time'.

Sara made her way down the stairs and out her door only to be greeted by a very apologetic Derek; she jumped out of her skin when she saw him. All she could think of was that Malaki would walk out and Derek would think something very wrong, although it wasn't very far from her mind last night.

'Look I'm sorry for trippin last night, I shouldn't have blown you off like that,' that's when he whipped out the almost dead lilies, which only cemented her guilt.

'Derek I've gotta tell you something, you should really know-' Sara was about to tell Derek exactly what happened last night when Derek said what Sara feared the most.

'Don't worry I know, I saw you and him a minute ago, so you hold these while I go handle this,' Derek handed her the lilies which she almost dropped trying to hold him back but he was on fire. Everything he'd been through to be with her and this was how it was gonna end.

_**You should really know I ain't playin you **_

_**Babe u gotta know **_

_**Cos your love is all I'm living for **_

_**And if you look into my eyes n you will know **_

**_Oh baby you should really know_ **

_**Pirates feat. Shola Ama, Naila Boss and Enya**_

Malaki stretched before leaning down to pick up his jersey but he was interrupted, Derek sucker punched him and he landed on the floor. Malaki wanted to piss him off and he got what he wanted. Derek was laying into him but Malaki soon got back and kicked Derek away as he got up.

To Be Contiued...


	7. I Just Can't Leave U Alone

Thanks for the review SlytherinChick 101, it scared me lol, which made me write. Hope you like, please review. Peace Y'all.Dedicated to the scary lader mentioned before!

* * *

Malaki threw Derek over and stood above him his lip barely bleeding, Derek looked like he wanted Malaki to die and that wasn't something Malaki wanted but that's life, shit happens. Sara looked on horrified as they faced off, no words, no more fighting. She needn't Derek to know that nothing happened. 

'Derek, it's not what you think, he saved my life last night so I let him sleep on the couch,' Sara said kneeling down to help Derek up.

Derek was trying hard to believe her but Malaki was smiling and that made every word Sara said go in one ear and out the other. He may not have trusted Malaki but he wanted to trust Sara, but that single doubt was nagging at the back of his mind, it took over when he saw them together on the stairs and it came every time Malaki smiled. Derek put it aside.

Sara felt her heart sank, she knew Derek didn't trust her and it hurt. She couldn't tell him that she had wanted something to happen it would end their relationship but without trust Malaki didn't even have to help with the break up.

Derek sucked it up...for now, 'I'm sorry,' he said coldly, 'thanks for what you did' Derek was out of there and took Sara with him. Derek had dragged Sara outside and once they hit fresh air he kissed her hard and fast to make her remember why she was with him, it didn't work. Sara gently pushed him back.

'Derek...' Sara didn't know what to say.

I love Derek, I'm sure I do but does he trust me. Why should he? I do want Malaki. I don't why and I can't explain it. I promise I won't act on that want but this about me and Derek. Would it be better if we weren't together, maybe...we are going to go our separate ways after high school, a long distance relationship would be hard but it would be worth it...if we really wanted it. He's a great boyfriend, he's supported me but this isn't eternal, is it? I shouldn't give up so easy, we've been through a lot together and to throw that all away...for Malaki. No. It will work, I can't let Derek down.

'Derek...we're good right?' Sara asked looking in his eyes for some recognition of this being an empty thing.

'Yeah' Derek said as if stamping the occasion.

'I've gotta go to class, I'll see you later,' Sara kissed him briefly and left.

Malaki picked up his stuff and headed for the door, he noticed the pen and pad by the phone, his state of mind being that his former best friend just went for him cause he wanted his girl. He scribbled down the message and left, the door locked and he suddenly knew he shouldn't have written it but only she'd read it so it won't be that bad.

Sara was tired on Monday morning, the boom box was jumping and everyone else was up and with it. She stopped in front of Sineal who was there to comfort her after her ordeal but all Sara could do was think about Malaki's note.

_Thanks and hope Derek's finished trippin, hope we can be friends. Malaki_

It was just so weird for him to write anything like that. It made no sense maybe it was sarcasm, no...it might be. That's it sarcasm. Anything else would be too weird. The other thing that was weird was how whenever he Malaki looks at me I get that feeling like in my chest.

Malaki saw her down the hall; he leaned easily against the lockers as his crew surrounded him. Malaki may have been unsure about how Sara felt about him but he knew there was something there and he wasn't gonna be humble about it. He smiled at her with that dirty pimp style, as if she was his bitch.

Sara felt dirty and needed to be somewhere else, she walked away from Sineal and into the girl's room. She splashed the cold water on her face.

I knew it, I let him in. I was nice to him, he must know how I feel about him and...and now he's gonna use it against me.

_**Oh I cant wait to get next you,**_

_**Oh I just can't leave you alone,**_

_**Boy you got me doing things that I would never do,**_

_**and I cant stop the way I'm feelin' if I wanted to,**_

_**   
I'm crazy bout the way you that you could make me say your name,**_

_**and if I couldnt have you I would probably go insane cause...**_

_**Ashanti 'Only You'**_

To Be Continued...


	8. Ur Makin Me High

Thanks to those who reviewed and the lyrics aren't mine. This chap is dedicated to lukina starhopper oriana, Draco MalfoyGirl 16, Chasity Claire, esta cena fan, primaballerina0522 and ulove3. You guys give me the kick up the butt to actually continue doing what I love to do. Luv Y'all!

* * *

Malaki made his manly way down the corridor, surprisingly secure as he made his way into the girl's bathroom. Sara was bent over the sink still with her eyes closed, her hands clasping to the sides of the sink and her head lowered. Malaki slid his hands along her waist. Sara jumped up and whipped round, her hands now clasping the front of the sink, as Malaki got up close and personal.

'Leave me alone,' Sara said pushing past him and heading for the door, her bag still by the sink.

Malaki pushed her against the same wall he had a few months ago, except this time his intentions were a lot different. His right hand laid upon the wall to her left, right next to her head whilst his left hand was to her right, at her waist, he had her trapped. His face got closer and closer to her, his eyes were almost hollow as he reached her lips.

Sara's mind was wandering…

_**Ooooh, I get so high**_

_**When I'm around you baby**_

_**I can touch the sky**_

_**You make my temperature rise**_

_**You're making me high**_

_**Baby, baby, baby, baby**_

_**Can't get my mind off you**_

_**I think I might be obsessed**_

_**The very thought of you**_

_**Makes me want to get undressed**_

_**I want to be with you**_

_**In spite of what my heart says**_

_**I guess I want you too bad**_

_**All I want is**_

_**Toni Braxton 'You're Making Me High'**_

Oh my god, what am I doing. No this has gotta stop, he's gotta stop kissing me…oh my god. Malaki's soft lips slid over Sara's. He never gave too much into the kiss, which always kept her wanting more. Her body tingled as his tongue folded over her own making her moan. Sara held back as much as she could till her conscience took over.

Sara bit his lip.

'AH! Bitch! I thought we were gonna be friends,' Malaki was his usual tough guy self.

'That was a little too friendly, why do you have to do this?' as Sara said it Malaki felt it, that he had let her down and it wasn't a feeling he liked so he acted out.

'You telling me you don't want it, I bet you do,' he said licking her neck.

Sara shivered, 'no I don't, I may have but I wouldn't ever do that to Derek'.

Malaki felt like he'd been underwater and came up for air when she said those words, 'I may have'. He knew it, he knew it. She wouldn't last long, she was hardly fighting him right then.

That pimp smile returned, 'you won't last a week'.

Sara was so angry at him, 'I could last forever without you'.

She looked serious but Malaki could see, he just smiled and gently put a few feet of distance between them before leaving. Once Malaki was gone Sara slid to the floor, she had a couple of months left and it was getting harder not to give into him but she wasn't going to give up everything with Derek for him, never…never. Temptation was avoided all the time and this time would be no different, yeah…no different.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	9. If I Want To

Sorry its taken me so long to update but I've been doing my a level module exams. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, this chap is dedicated to ulove3, Stella, Chasity Claire, esta cena fan, Sala and that anonymous person called hi, your words and advice are always welcome. Luv Y'all.

* * *

Sara took her head out of her hands and took a deep breath, not always a good idea in the school toilets, fresh. Girl was determined. She got off her ass and made a silent oath to herself she was in love with Derek and no sexual tension between her and Malaki could get in between that. This oath stuck with her all day throughout English, biology and even trig. There was a bounce in her step, her head was high, she was comfortable in her mans arms, as the crew stood making arrangements for the night.

'Steps?' Derek asked.

'Where else dog,' Snookie burst in.

'Fool you need to stop calling him dog, he's goin to Doctor College,' Sineal said embarrassing her brother.

Sara was comfortable till that moment, Derek was going to college.

I am supposed to wait forever? I guess so, that's what you do when you love someone, but I'm not so sure anymore. I can't back out now, we've gone through so much, and it wouldn't be fair. Just like that another _thing_ came along to shake her up, Malaki. He let his eyes wonder from Lip to her, Sara was about to let her eyes drop to the ground but she knew that she would have to face him sometime, she stared him out. Malaki knew he didn't have the advantage anymore, she wasn't ashamed. Malaki stopped dead in his tracks. Soon the crew knew Malaki was standing perfectly still, Derek was about to step in when Sara stopped him.

'Let me deal with this,' Sara slid in front of him, 'look you're not gonna get anywhere with me, so stop trying, it's not gonna happen'.

He could feel her breath on his face, she was so close and her don't-fuck-with-me stance really got to him. She can't be serious, she wants me but shit she's got me whilin.

Malaki's expression morphed from shock to his pimp smirk, he was frontin, 'look bitch, we friends, and I don't give a shit if you and Derek are the next mother fuckin Bobby and Whitney you're mine, and If I wanted it, you'd be on your knees beggin me to take you, but I just ain't in the mood right now'.

_**If I want to - I can take you from your man (please believe)**_

_**With my eyes closed**_

_**I can have you eating out the palm out of my hand**_

_**And all your little girl friends to**_

_**(No you can't - you're a playa I don't want you)**_

_**Yes I can and I will if I - if I want to**_

_**If I - if I want to baby**_

Sara looked defiantly up at him, her skin tingled at the sound of his voice, the hint of his smirk.

Sara gave a little laugh, 'wow, you think you're a real playa don't you?'

'I'm the real deal,' Malaki said getting closer.

'Well you see that MAN over there, he's the one I want you're the one want gone,' Sara strode over to Derek and wrapped her arms around him before kissing him. Malaki flinched, he was pissed.

Derek drew her back and asked his questions about whether or not her and Malaki were together.

Malaki left but he knew he was gonna have her, he hadn't been imagining it. She felt it too, I know it and tonight she's gonna feel it.

_**I don't really care**_

_**How long you've been together with your man**_

_**It's just a matter of time**_

_**Before I make you mine**_

_**I wanna make it clear**_

_**So there's no misunderstandings**_

_**That I get what I want - when I want, yeah**_

_**If I want to - I can take you from your man**_

_**With my eyes closed**_

_**I can have you eating out the palm out of my hand**_

_**And all your little girl friends to**_

_**(No you can't - you're a playa I don't want you)**_

_**Yes I can and I will if I - if I want to**_

_**If I - if I want to baby**_

_**Usher 'If I want to'**_

'Do you know what you're saying, this is Malaki,' Sara said as if the answer was obvious.

'A week ago I woulda never uttered the words but something's goin on and you must think I'm a fool if you don't think I don't see it, am I a fool Sara?' Derek looked hurt and this was too public for Sara but she would have to deal with it sooner or later.

Sara was ready to confess it, the way she felt, the truth but her hesitation gave Derek time to leave. Sara gave her goodbyes and Sineal gave her a hug, Snook gave a shakey see-ya-later and the crew were civil. Sara let them know she wasn't goin anywhere tonight.

_**To Be Continued…**_

**_Short chappie, sorry but the next chap is gonna be sexually graphic so R rating and if you're not into that tell me and i'll make a cleaner version of the next chap when it comes it should be up next week. Luv Y'all._**


	10. Nice & Slow

Hey y'all sorry for the almighty long wait; this chappie is dedicated to those who reviewed PrInCeZZ, temi, Hannah, funkycool, Audioslavex and even LukinaStarhopper whose inspired me and CHUCHU123 and flammablepajamies for their input. Luv Y'all! Lukina thanks till I read your profile I didn't know the name to one of my fav sonds and Suga Suga is thanks to ya.

* * *

Sara's eyes were red, she'd been crying. So confused. What she thought she knew was shit now, it was tainted. They'd fought through so much together, Derek and her. She hated that she was gonna throw it all away for some fucked up attraction to someone who didn't do anything but hate and hurt. All alone in the apartment she got on with her homework and waited for the pot to boil. The light flickered amber across the floor and she couldn't help becoming distracted thinking that everyone was having the time of their life at steps…Derek, Sineal, Snookie, ziggy…and Malaki. 

The amber light flickered out onto the street below and creeped onto Malaki's arm. All in black he looked up to that window. Hands in pockets taking it easy, contemplating his next move.

_**I pull up**_

_**Anticipating good love**_

_**Don't keep me waiting**_

_**I got plans to put my hands in places**_

_**I never seen girl you know what I mean**_

_**Let me take you to a place nice and quiet**_

_**There ain't no one there to interrupt**_

_**Ain't gotta rush**_

_**I just wanna take it nice and slow**_

_**(now baby tell what you wanna do with me)**_

_**See I've been waiting for this for so long**_

_**We'll be makin' love until the sun comes up**_

_**Baby**_

_**I just wanna take it nice and slow**_

_**(now baby tell what you wanna do with me)**_

_**Usher 'Nice & Slow'**_

What am I doing here? You know what you're doing here. You're here for her. Shit! She's got me whipped like a dog. Don't Matter I got her to. Can't deny that. Something's gotta be done, just do her and leave then it'll all be ova. It don't matter if she's Derek's, I want her.

Malaki took his time making his way up the steps to Sara's apartment. Licking his lips Malaki needed to get his cool back but she did something to him, made him lose it. It was cold outside and the warmth of the hallway gave him more incentive to knock on her door. Few moments in Malaki's life could be called brave, sometimes stupid, sometimes selfish and even sometimes smart but brave was what he was being now.

Sara jumped out of her skin when she heard the knock at the door, just one knock, loud and clear. She put her pencil inside her textbook and laid it on the table. Uncrossing her legs she got up and hesitantly approached the door, she was afraid of who it was. She left her glasses on and with her voice barely above a whisper she asked politely who was there.

Malaki gently said, 'it's me,' his hand on the ledge of the door, his head leaning in to be closer to her.

Flashbacks of her dream came back Malaki so close, she could feel him. Sara bit her lip as she unhooked the chain and slowly opened the door. It wasn't the right thing to do but she was tired, tired of doing the right thing, this time she'd…she'd do something different. She clutched the door and came face to face with the boy who had tortured her when she was awake and asleep. Silence descended over them, as they looked at each other a wordless conversation erupted; he said 'forgive me' and she said 'why should I?' Sara realised that he wouldn't apologise that wasn't Malaki. Malaki looked around and back at her.

'You gonna keep me out here all night?' He gave a small smile and laugh.

'Thinking about it,' Sara was all seriousness, because this was serious.

Malaki stepped in towards her, Sara didn't flinch as he placed her two steps back and pushed the door closed.

'I messed up…and for that I'm sorry,' as Malaki whispered it Sara was shocked, on the brink of tears and waiting for it to go wrong.

Malaki's hand brushed over Sara's, it made its way up her arm to her face. Wiping away the tear his hand slipped round her neck and pulled her in gently to his lips. He kissed her and everything bad in his world was forgotten like his favourite drug of choice. He gripped tighter as she kissed him back. Sara's skin tingled as his other hand removed hers from him and started on the straps of her top. The whistle blew out as the kettle had come to a boil. Sara pulled away and ran to the kitchen. Taking the pot of the cooker and turning off the gas she came to her senses. She was not SINGLE. This was not her, she wasn't a cheater.

_**Now tell me, do you wanna get freaky?**_

_**Cause, I'll freak you right I will, I'll freak you right i will,**_

_**I'll freak you like no one ha s ever made you feel.**_

_**I'll freak you right I will, I freak you right I will,**_

_**I'll freak ya, freak ya, like no one has ever made you feel...yeah!**_

_**(now baby tell what you wanna do with me)**_

_**Usher 'Nice & Slow'**_

Malaki could see her holding onto the counter top staring off into the distance feeling guilty. Fuck it, she's mine, he had his chance and it's my turn, I feel sick just knowing she's thinking about him, she won't be in a minute. Malaki grabbed her and flung her around, she slammed into the wall. He gripped her hands and place them above her head. Leaning in he gave his final speech.

'I want you, if you don't I'll leave, that good enough for ya, cause all this feelin guilty shit, I'm over it, so…'

Sara had to regroup he was so close his breath was on her skin and this time it wasn't a dream. She couldn't say it, the words wouldn't come. The guy she wanted had her against a wall, again. Holding her there turned her on, so words weren't necessary. Sara leaned in and kissed him, gently biting his lip and pulling away.

'I'm tired of waiting and pushing you away, I give in,' the words came so naturally.

Malaki smirked and lifted her up and carried and dropped her on the living room floor, he prowled above her. Lifting her shirt up and pulling down her joggers, he traced his tongue over her. She pulled off his jacket, his shirt. Before long his hand was down between her thighs. She gave a little groan and he said she could do better. He laid into her, Sara held on tight kissing his chest and biting his lips. Every time she did he pushed harder.

**_Whatever you want, I got it, Papi  
Don't hesitate, holla at me!  
What I'm lookin' for  
Is simple, you see  
Love and support and sexuality  
When I'm with you, I don't wanna leave  
I need you just like air that I breathe  
But when I'm not with you, I'm missing my peace  
I got a lot inside I need to release_**

**_You fulfill my every desire  
When I'm with you, you take me higher (Wooo woo whoo)_**

**_You're my afrodisiac  
You're the only one I'm needin'  
When I go, I'll come back  
'Cause there is no way I'm leavin'  
You're my afrodisiac  
You're the only one I'm needin'  
When I go, I'll come back  
'Cause there is no way I'm leavin'_**

**_Brandy 'Afrodisiac'_**

Sara screamed the place down and pulled herself up from the floor, Malaki followed her to herroom, he wouldn't let her in.

'Where do ya think your goin?' He smiled.

Sara caught her breath, 'To get a towl,' she said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

He pulled her to him groping her breast, 'don't you know I'm not like Derek, hungry boy like me goes for seconds'.

Sara realised what she was doing when he mentioned Derek's name. She'd tell him the first chance she got, it was over.

'Now now, let's do this,' Malaki said leading her over the couch.

Sara could feel him from behind as he kissed her, groped her breasts and thrust himself in her. Sara felt wrong, dirty even and she liked it. The way it made her feel being with him, the way he made her feel. She was so used to being this proper little girl that when she was being intimate she liked to go to a place a little bit darker. Malaki couldn't believe it, everything he wanted, he had and he wasn't gonna leave for the world. Don't think about tomorrow when you getting with a hot girl.

Sara lay in his arms and held him tightly, 'hey…want something to eat?'

Malaki was so ready for the good treatment, 'yeah ho get to the kitchen'.

Sara laughed and dug him in his side before getting up throwing on her bath robe and heading into the kitchen.

Malaki sat up against the wall and looked on the girl he never thought he'd get close to, thinking how lucky he was and trying not to think about the future and if they one.

**_You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling  
And ooh wee it¡¦s the ultimate feeling  
You got me lifted feeling so gifted  
Sugar how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?_**

**_Baby Bash  
You know its leather when we ride  
Wood grain and raw hide  
Doing what we do, watching screens getting high  
Gurl you keep it so fly with you sweet hunnybuns  
You was there when the money was gone  
You¡¦ll be there when the money comes  
Off top I can¡¦t lie I love to get blowed  
You my lil¡¦sugar, I¡¦m yo little chulo  
And every time we kick it it¡¦s off to the groovy  
Treat you like my sticky ickey or my sweet oowy goowy (fa real though)_**

**_Frankie J.  
You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling  
And ooh wee it¡¦s the ultimate feeling  
You got me lifted feeling so gifted  
Sugar how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?  
Suga suga how you get so fly?_**

**_Baby Bash and Frankie J 'Suga Suga._**

To Be continued…


	11. Dont Leave Me Alone in this GhettoGospel

So sorry for the lack of updating my only poor excuse was that I had a levels and such to do but I'm back now. This is dedicated to everyone who reviewed especially flammable pajamas, Church123, crystal, xxdownfallxx, Spiritweaver, Rainia Nightwolf, NahNah, Miss Deme, G-Unit Girl, Scarlett Black, xx and the major one that begged and got me off my ass ATF0893. You guys rock, ya slammin. Luv Y'all.

* * *

Sara's feet hit the cold kitchen floor and the rush of pain hit her. She had taken what she wanted, she'd always thought things through, been reserved that

Sara had gone the moment she realised where she was and she knew that Derek had helped her get there. He wasn't a bad guy; he hadn't done anything wrong,

she had, she had cheated. The guilt almost choked her, tears pierced her beautiful brown eyes. There was nothing that could justify what she had done and

one word kept flashing in her mind. slut. Tears ran down her cheeks as she opened the cupboards tryin to find that place in her mind when she thought about

Malachi, that place where everyone else just faded away. she scrambled the tins trying to find something edible but she just couldn't. slamming the door shut

she laid her head against it. She had to think to decide what she was gonna do next. she knew one thing no matter what happened everyone was gonna get hurt.

I can't move from this spot, if I do he's gonna notice something's wrong. he should notice, but he doesn't care. for all I know he gets off on stealing me

and that's all this is. That's all this feeling in my chest is, just temptation and all that shit. I don't want it to be just that I wanted to see something

better in him, I wanted him and I've had him. I don't know where to go from here. I can't be with Derek anymore but I'm not sure what me and Malachi are. I

wanted to see something there, something past his usual bullshit, I can't shake this feeling like vie made a big mistake. I don't wanna let fear take me

over but no matter but it is. Those feelings seem like such a dream right now. ignore was bliss but now its gone.

Sara slowly walked back into her living room and saw Malachi sitting on the floor up against the front window waiting for her to return. she looked meek and

looked embarrassed funny seeing as the things she'd been perpetrating only a few minutes ago. Malachi's satisfied smug started to slip away, it didn't take a

to see that Sara was upset, uneasy...guilty.

Shit I don't wanna deal with this alkali thought. He shook his head, smiled to himself knowing what was coming but something caught him. He didn't wanna let

her know but he was scared.

'What?' he shouted off all brass balls and hard-core gangsta.

Sara was a little thrown, she never ever saw anything coming, and everything caught her like a deer in the headlights. She didn't know where to look, so she

looked everywhere else. This didn't make Malachi feel any better and he showed his dismay the only way he knew how he shouted.

'shit...what the fuck is this shit?' Malachi stood up and bounded towards her, inches away from her face, 'we sorted this out, you made a choice here

tonight, you chose me,' his voice got softer as if he were tryin to persuade her that she belonged with him.

'I'm not saying that I didn't want this'.

'damn right you ain't,' Malachi got angrier as the situation got further from his control.

'excuse me...you don't own me and if you'd listen for just-'

'fuck this shit- I listen were together you can't play me like that,'

'imp not trying to, its just its gonna be hard telling Derek,' the words soothed the savage beast in Malachi.

He put his hand around her neck pulled her close, smiled and told her everything was gonna be okay. Sara fell into him resting her head on his chest she

could hear the sirens outside telling of impending danger but it was okay for now.

'where the hell is my food anyway?' Sara let out a half smile.

'you can make your own,' she said before she went off in search of sleep, laying down on her bed she prayed to god that she'd fall asleep so that she

wouldn't have to think about how hurt Derek would be, how angry. There were so many repercussions from sleeping with Malachi and she put them all off as

her thug slid down beside her and kissed the nape of her neck, he wanted some more but Sara couldn't bring herself to consciously disrespect Derek that way.

'I can't' she whispered.

Malachi wasn't up for this moping shit so he got up pulled on his clothes and put on his determined game face.

Sara didn't put up a fight to make him stay she wanted to do the right thing but she'd already blown everything to hell. Malachi slammed the door, he wasn't

what he was more pissed about her going on this guilt shit or her not asking him to stay. He could feel her slipping away from him. Fuck it!

I just wanted get some, I got it, now its time to bounce. Nothing more than that. I don't give a shit about her, I don't. I don't even know anything about

her what makes her who she is. I ain't trippin over this bitch.

Sara stood starring at the door when a bang bang bang at the door caught her off guard, she slowly opened the door, and Malachi stood straight and spoke fast.

'This ain't nothin but gettin some u got me? I didn't wanna know your hopes and fears I just wanted to try you, so its done, no need to sweat Derek don't

need to know'.

Sara stood shocked her world was upside down, everything she was so certain of a week before had turned around and confessed that it was playin her for a

fool.

'I thought we were startin something here,' Sara confessed tears in her eyes thinkin she was a monumental idiot.

'Well you was wrong,' Malachi said and braced himself to leave, he had things to do, to take care of.

Sara didn't know what was happening to her, the way she'd been feeling with him was so strong and new. it hadn't had a chance to develop, it was just going

to be snuffed out in the blink of an eye.

Sara grabbed his shoulder, 'don't belittle this, we have a chance'.

'Look-'

'no you speakin right now is gonna mess everything up, I'm used to running away, not gonna do that, just let me handle this and alotta shits gonna go down but

just wait a while and we can get this thing right,' Sara was determined not to throw away this the way she had with Derek.

Malachi gave a little laugh, 'right how longs this waitin shit gonna be?'

'the next time I see Derek I'm gonna tell him the truth, he needs to know,' Sara said looking so strong in herself.

Malachi softened put his arms around her neck and pulled her forehead to his, 'its you and me then,' he kissed long and hard before breaking away, 'I gotta

be somewhere, catch you later'.

Sara watched him walk away tomorrow was gonna be the hardest day of her life but another thought was buggin her, where did Malachi have to go. With Derek she

knew he wasn't gonna get stuck in this neighbourhood, she knew jail, drugs and drivebys weren't gonna claim him, but Malachi she knew he was caught up in it

all.

_**dont wanna let you leave, I dont wanna let you go,**_

_**So... dont leave me alone **_

_**Ooooooo**_

_**Now if I could just be wit you, breathe wit you, if you woulda asked me**_

_**I would leave with you I would go... around the globe as long as I know**_

_**I will be right by your side wherever you go I aint gonna let you leave**_

_**I dont wanna let you go, ooh I need you here with me**_

_**Dont leave me alone**_

_**Ashanti 'Don't Leave Me Alone'**_

Malachi rolled up in the early mornin to his crib nothin like p diddy's that's for sure. He kissed his momma on the cheek before he jumped in the shower. As

he placed his chain around his neck he knew he had things to do. He knew she expected something more from him but he could never deliver. he had

responsibilities and he had a rep to protect. He reached into his top drawer and pulled out his heat, sliding it behind his belt, he grabbed a few dollars

once again to his momma's dismay he rolled on out without an explanation of where he was goin, deep down she knew it would never be anywhere good.

I deal, I hustle, I beat the shit outta motherfuckers who cross me. I'm not a good guy and she's just not thinking about that is she. she's ignoring it like

she did last night. well she can all she likes but I can't I'm never gonna be the upright guy, no suit, no college for me. Just menace and mayhem.

Malachi leaned against the battered brick wall waiting for his next client and like clockwork six in the mornin along came Ronny. Thirty years old and smack's bitch. He disgusted Malachi, he smelled bad and talked shit as fluent as Tupac preached.

'Hey my man, you know I've been havin one hell of a day, my woman left me-' Ronny continued his face worn and tired.

'Look I don't give a shit, give me my money,' Malachi didn't wanna have to be there any longer than he had to.

Ronny took offence at this abrupt killer to polite conversation, 'well ain't no reason be rude'.

Ronny searched his pockets but Malachi could see he didn't have anything on him. One thought crossed Malachi's mind why would he come without money that's just stupid even for a crack addict, he knew Malachi would mess him up. Malachi didn't see it coming. The bullet ripped through his shoulder the next through his side. The blood filled his mouth and Malachi fell to the ground his mouth smudged in the dirt, he coughed hard and blood trickled to the ground.

'shit you coulda hit me, man,' Ronny complained the gangbanger to his right.

'getta outta here old man,' the young man approached, he checked his rounds before taking aim again.

'wait he might have some good stuff on him,' Ronny bent down to search him but the gangbanger kicked him.

'you want some shit go getcha yaself some money,' with those words Ronny bolted worrying for his safety.

Malachi rolled over and knew he'd brought this on, he remembered the face of the boy in front of him one year younger than himself. He remembered him too damn well. Sirens in the distance weren't coming to help him, they faded away. He groaned as the pain hit him again and again. Malachi could feel it, this was gonna be it, this was all his life was gonna be. He wasn't gonna resign himself to this, he looked around for something, anything to help him. He thought about Momma sitting at home worrying about Sara not even knowing what this mornin was gonna bring.

'You the bad guy Malachi, you deserve this,' the boy said as if to justify what he was about to do.

'Yeah I guess I do'.

_**2Pac**_

_**I make mistakes, I learn from everyone  
And when its said and done  
I bet this Brotha be a better one  
If I'm upset, you don't stress  
Never forget, that God hasn't finished with me yet  
I feel his hand on my brain  
When I write rhymes, I go blind, and let the lord do his thang  
But am I less holy  
Cuz I choose to puff a blunt and drink a beer with my homies  
Before we find world peace  
We gotta find peace in that war on the streets  
My ghetto gospel**_

_**Elton John**_

_**Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)  
I welcome with my hands  
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold  
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns**_

_**2Pac  
Lord can you hear me speak!  
To pay the price of being hell bound...**_

_**2Pac feat Elton John 'Ghetto Gospel'**_

To Be Continued…

(tell me what you want to happen and I'll work with it) Luv Y'all.


	12. Cuz If I end up dead its my FaultULoose

Sorry about the very long wait but to be honest I didn't know what I was gonna do with these two. Don't lose hope this is definitely not the end but the end is gonna be soon for this story. Mwah love y'all.

* * *

'You will never know what it's like to suffer, Malachi cause this is gonna be over all too soon,' said this young thing that held cold steel not a foot from Malachi.

'Just shoot bitch!' The blood spurted from his lips as she got his words out. He knew what he had done to this boy and knew that the bullet had to pierce him.

Funny mamma knew it would end like this, she'd said it to me before, in the kitchen I think. Sara thinks I'm running an errand but she can't be that slow, she's gotta know I was going out to do wrong. Wonder what Lips doing, this is how I get out, my soul will leave this place but the body never made it.

Tears stung the eyes of this young gun.

His finger got heavy on the trigger. The Bullet left the barrel.

Then the gun dropped to Malachi's side as did the young boy. Ronny stood where the boy had once.

'Don't tell Ronny to do nutin!' Ronny said shaking severely relieving his victim of his valuables.

Ronny turned to do the same to Malachi but the gun was in Malachi's hand as the bullet was in his belly.

Ronny slowly stood up and backed away down the back alley.

**It's alot, its alot until you get shot  
or your getting burderd in the dock  
cuz they caught you with rocks in your sock  
and when you come out you can't get a job  
These lil nobs don't understand fully  
they just care about babes and hoodies  
their on a hype, till they end up like trife  
at the end of kidulthood**

Gotta go from kidulthood to adulthood (i know)  
Now i must act like an adult would  
react like an adult should (i know)  
I gotta brake the cycle, cuz if i go pen  
or end up dead, then it's my fault.

**Kidulthood to Adulthood by Bashy**

The phone ringing shocked Sara out of her thoughts. There were dark ones where she would think of all the terrible places Malachi could have gone. She was thankful to be away from them. Taking off her glasses she rubbed the spot where they rested on her nose as she lifted the receiver.

Her father looked on curious as her face turned from the expression of slight tiredness to shock and absolute fear. She slammed down the receiver.

'Dad get the car, you gotta take me to the hospital!' Sara shouted even though the distance between herself and her father wasn't that great. She rushed putting on her jacket and of course her father obliged.

The car ride is taking too long, my god he could be dying. What the fuck was he doing? Who was shooting at him? Who was he with? I hate this, not knowing, I should have asked him to stay. If I had asked him to stay maybe he would have and maybe he wouldn't be in a hospital right now, in god damn surgery. Why did they call me?

'Are there any spaces?' Sara was desperate but Chicago Memorial looked jammed.

'Why don't I drop you off and see if I can park down the block?'

I couldn't be any luckier when it comes to my Dad, he's always there, does what he can, always wanting to do more.

'Thanks dad,' Sara said before kissing his cheek and bolting out the car.

Hospitals. Who the fuck invented this shit hole? I don't like it here, look at the people; they're gross and the staff uncaring.

Sara approached the front desk in a hurry.

'Hi, um I was called umm Malachi...I don't know his last name,' Sara was suddenly ashamed of herself, 'he's been shot?'

The woman was tired and not on her best behaviour. 'I'm sorry we've had three gunshot victims tonight and none have names'.

Now Sara was just plain pissed off, 'Look bitch which one is young black probably has a gun on him?'

'That would be all three, now if you don't calm down, security will escort your white ass out'.

Sara went quiet. 'This hospital called me'.

'Give me a second'. She went to a small pile of papers on her desk, she picked them up, shuffled them around then came across one post it and held onto it as she told Sara that her number was the last called on the cell of the patient in 204.

It took Sara two and a half minutes to run through the corridors and up the stairs. There it was 204 on the door. The door creaked open and there he was breathing through a tube.

'Jesus Christ what did you do?' Sara burst into floods of tears as she grasped his body.

He wasn't awake but the person who was, was the police officer sitting in the corner of the makeshift cubicle unbeknownst to the newest visitor.

'Miss,' the young officer said softly.

Sara still jumped. 'Who shot him? Is he gonna be okay?'

'The docs stitched him up he should be fine but I'd ask them if wanna know the specifics, I was hoping miss that you'd know his name and why he'd be in an alley at two in the morning.' All was said with a smile and without an air of snobbery. Sara thought he did that to put her and probably the many others he questioned at ease and without their defense system up and working.

Sara composed herself, wiped away a few of the tears.

'I don't know his last name...or where he lives but he goes to school at Lincoln-' Sara was interrupted.

'-Park high school, yeah I know that place, went there for a month or two, got kicked out sent to Roosevelt'.

His smile disarmed her and even with the interruption she didn't feel he was being rude.

'That's pretty much all I know, I mean I...don't know, I think he was going home, last time I saw him he was leaving my apartment. I just don't know,' Sara said flustered and unable to look the twenty something officer in the eye. She wasn't about to put the man she loved in juvi again.

He carried the conversation on as if he was he had known her for years, Sara still wasn't gonna let him have anything. 'I hate to put this on the table but we did find a two guns and I was wondering does...Malachai is it? Does he carry a gun?'

'I don't think so'.

'Well I'm just gonna head down the hall, gonna try the payphone just to find out who our boy is, I'll be back in a few,' he said as he made his way out of the room.

'Chi please wake up, what have you done? You could have just stayed with me you asshole,' Sara whispered in his ear as she cupped his face with her hands.

His eyes fluttered open to see an angel before him.

'How the, shit I'm luck'.

'You're not lucky, you got yourself shot and whatever it is you were doing, I don't want a part of it, I wanna be with you I meant it but not the you you think you gotta be, not dealin, not carrying a gun, so I'm more than cool that you're okay but you and me ain't gonna work if you keep down this track'.

The tears stung her eyes again, she had ruined everything with Derek, the love they had had because she wanted Malachai. The selfishness of her actions dawned all too well on her.

I'm not good enough for Derek anymore and Malachai he may never be good enough for me.

'Don't pull this shit again, you trippin cause I'm hurt, you keep flippin on me, just make up your damn mind!' Malachai felt the pain shoot up his body as he moved.

Sara moved back off the bed.

'My mind's made, I was obsessed with you and I made a mistake that's all, I'm not the person I wanna be but I can try, so this is it, I hope you get better soon, but I won't be by and Chi the police officer he's been in your room, he knows what school you go to, that's my fault but he doesn't know your last name, I don't either...'

**I'm not lovin' you  
Way I wanted to  
What I had to do  
Had to run from you  
I'm in love with you  
But the vibe is wrong  
And that haunted me all the way home**

So you never know  
Never, never know  
Never know enough  
Til it's over love  
Til we lose control  
System overload  
Screamin' no, no, no, no, no

So keep your love locked down  
Your love locked down  
Keepin' your love locked down  
Your love locked down  
Now keep your love locked down  
Your love locked down  
Now keep your love locked down  
You lose You lose

**Love Lockdown by Kanye West**

'Fuck this shit! Why the fuck did you tell him anything, Sara shit,' Malachai couldn't think, he was too scared.

'They found two guns in the alley, they don't know who they belong to and I'm sorry for everything,' she said barely above a whisper as she edged to the door.

Before she left Malachai collected himself, 'Sara'. She turned, 'Yeah'.

'Scruggs, that's my last name'.

'Thanks'.

She was gone.

Shit, what the fuck am I meant to do now, I've lost my girl within the day I fuckin had her, this is wrong. She can't leave me, I know she doesn't want to. He's gonna come back to arrest me or threaten to. She ran at the first sign of trouble. What the fuck does that say about us? That she's human. What am I meant to do? Be a better person, waste a time. Just thought I could have somebody, my beau that gave a shit about me. That's for someone else.

The young police officer re entered.

Malachi straightened his posture.

'Hey there I was hoping you'd wake up soon, just got a few questions for ya'.

His smile sickened Malachi.

I ain't ya boy, pig. This is it, this is where I gotta choose all over again, tell the truth and get sent back to that place or lie as see if I still don't go back there.

'Well son where'd ya girl go?'

'She ain't my girl, don't hardly know her'.

Outside the door and down the hall a young boy who had been treated for a blow to the head was sipping on the 7up he'd got out the vending machine. He didn't have his gun but he'd get another one, all he had was time.

Sara caught Roy in the waiting room. She kept walking.

Roy caught up with her.

'What's goin on?'

'Nothing let's just get outta here, I gotta figure somethings out'.

'Like what?'

'Like how I'm gonna make things better'.

To Be Continued


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